1Gather ’round, Kids, and listen up. Because in this and the next issue of Sherwood, we’re going to tackle listening itself.
In this issue, we’re going to lay out the basic concepts of how listening operates. In the next, we’ll look at listening’s role in the workplace and for leaders.
Amazingly, compared to other topics, there’s been little study of listening. To date, there’s not even an agreed-upon scientific definition of listening. So far, all we’ve got is an increasing consensus that listening is more than the passive intake of information that it was once thought to be.
Listening is cognitive, relational, emotional, and behavioral. It is intentional. It requires concentration—to the exclusion of background chatter. It requires separate and concurrent analysis of the content spoken and how it is delivered. (Just an angry tone and cadence are enough to set us on edge. In lab studies, people’s blood pressure spiked even when they heard angry gibberish.)
An antecedent of trust and understanding, listening is a prosocial act—and those who are prosocial are more intense at listening.
What’s described as “high-quality listening” consists of paying attention to the speaker, processing and comprehending the speaker’s content, thoughtfully taking it in, in a non-judgmental way.
Speakers who receive high-quality listening feel more accepted and valued. They feel safer and less anxious. They are more creative and productive.
Meanwhile, studies show that good listeners are thought to be more trustworthy, better at maintaining relationships and building coalitions, and changing others’ opinions.
Rapid-Fire Banter, Awkward Silences
The modal gap between when one person stops speaking and another person starts talking is just about 200 ms. It’s so fast, that most conversation turn-taking is probably driven by people predicting what someone else will say and formulating a response before they’ve said it.
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